Creepy

[Girl] "Why do you have pictures of dead birds on your phone?"
[Guy] "Because their heads are in my freezer"

Bad Conversationalist

"Have I ever told you about my hang nails?"

Man to Man

Recently, while sharing a few beers and swapping fishing stories, two men strayed into strange territory:

 "Are you saying you're not man enough to buy your own dildo?"

Proving That Men Really Do Think Like That

Girl: "Doesn't she have really long hair?"
Boy: "Yeah - but what does that have to do with her vagina?"
Girl:  "I wasn't asking about her vagina...."
Boy:  "Oh."

Grocery Shopping

" I don't know if this is bread or granola, but either way I'm stoked!"

Too Drunk

"I had a baby"
"What?!"
"I mean baby sitter" 

Smooth Moves

"You are the most beautiful, most intelligent woman I've ever met.... I should probably stop thrusting huh?"