Endearing Moments in Commercial Fishing

This is Little Shit. Yes, that's her name. She is the resident feline on board the Capt John, a commercial trawling vessel based in Moss Landing, California. She makes the Deadliest Catch guys look like pussies (pun intended). 

Getting Snuggles

Chilling on Deck While The Fish Are Unloaded

My Favorite Pizza Topping

"The bilge sludge makes it go down smoother" he said as he handed her a questionable looking pizza.

Failed Sex Ed

"I know sperm dies really quickly, but I don't want to get my girlfriend pregnant by using her towel when I get out of the shower."

Women in the Work Place

When asked why a woman was crying, the man replied: 

"She probably got her tit caught in a printer"

Say What?

"Screw the Expense! Buy the damn cat a goldfish, I need new gloves!"

The Crusty Scotsman Says

"People do funny things with pelicans"

Vagina On The Mind

"So apparently it's not vagina-al, it's vaga-nal."

Retirement

"I'm still waiting for a gold asteroid to crash in the backyard!"

Treasure Hunting

After recently purchasing a metal detector, a man was asked what kind of loot he'd collected so far. He answered enthusiastically with:

"I found a dime, 11 pennies, and a pink aluminum ring that says 'India'!"

Money well spent. 

Insult Fail

[Guy] "You ride the small bus!"
[Girl] "Sounds like you should be riding the short bus with me"

Creepy

[Girl] "Why do you have pictures of dead birds on your phone?"
[Guy] "Because their heads are in my freezer"

Bad Conversationalist

"Have I ever told you about my hang nails?"

Man to Man

Recently, while sharing a few beers and swapping fishing stories, two men strayed into strange territory:

 "Are you saying you're not man enough to buy your own dildo?"

Proving That Men Really Do Think Like That

Girl: "Doesn't she have really long hair?"
Boy: "Yeah - but what does that have to do with her vagina?"
Girl:  "I wasn't asking about her vagina...."
Boy:  "Oh."

Grocery Shopping

" I don't know if this is bread or granola, but either way I'm stoked!"

Too Drunk

"I had a baby"
"What?!"
"I mean baby sitter" 

Smooth Moves

"You are the most beautiful, most intelligent woman I've ever met.... I should probably stop thrusting huh?"

Not So Smooth

-A man said to a woman "Would you like me to poke you? It might make you thinner." 

Men in The Kitchen

"Grate cheese for satan"

Once Again, Proud

"She liked the way I handled my snake."